As I write this it’s 4:00AM, and I am 7-1/2 months pregnant.
I’m awake at this ungodly hour because:
1. It’s very rare for me to sleep through the night anymore (which I’ve been told, in no uncertain terms, to get used to) and
2. I am in the process of closing down my business of two years at the end of the month; the details of which are making for some very restless nights.
I’ve been happy to have been one of Brantford’s many young and enthusiastic entrepreneurs, lending all of my hours, energy and personal income – hell, my soul to an endeavor that I hope has helped make the city I dwell a better place to live. But the time has come for me to say goodbye.
The decision wasn’t easy, but I’ll admit now, it was easier than many might think.
It was not without hiccups; however, and one of them I’d like to address, because I can’t imagine I’m alone in experiencing this. I was questioned time and again about why I felt I couldn’t be both a new mother, and maintain my fledgling business. The answer in my mind was simple: I could, I just chose not to.
I chose to prioritize time with a precious, new life over making money. I chose to focus my mind and energy on the task of raising a thriving child, instead of creating a thriving business.
Of course it was possible for me to make another choice. There are a handful of women I can look to in my own community who are both raising children and maintaining their businesses, and from what I can see, they are pretty successful at it.
I would respectfully remind those who were more forceful in getting their point across that choosing to be a stay-at-home mother is not a job to be taken lightly. It will, in all likelihood, cause me to long for the days of sleepless nights due to bookkeeping, tax preparation, or any of the other things that made my entrepreneurial skin crawl.
Now, here’s where I have to come clean: as a mother-to-be, I have no idea what I’m in for. There does exist, in some recess of my twisted mind, a place that is counting down the days until I’m done working.
I have to keep reminding myself (and not so gently, might I add) that what I’m about to embark upon is by no stretch of the sleep deprived brain, a vacation. It is the toughest, most thankless, yet most rewarding job known to mankind. Or, so I’ve been told.
While I can only imagine just how tough it’s going to be, I have to admit I am truly and completely in over my head trying to know what to expect.
If, as I embark on this new journey, you see me out and about with my new little one, and I look less than…glowing, shall we say, understand that I’ve begun the arduous and amazing task of learning just what it takes to be a new mom.